AM I FUNNY YET?!
Go check Of Monsters and Men. They good. They reeeeal good. Video is property Of Monsters and Men. Image is courtesy of Amazon.
Monday, May 14, 2018
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Hunter's Bestiary: Doctor Who: The Weeping Angels
"The Lonely Assassins, they used to be called. No-one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the universe, or very nearly. And they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved. They're quantum locked. They don't exist when they're being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze, into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. 'Course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink.
And then yes it can."
And then yes it can."
The Tenth Doctor, "Blink"
Chilling, don't you think? Welcome to the first Hunter's Bestiary! This horrifying nightmare fuel that the Doctor from popular British science fiction series Doctor Who is speaking about is one of it's most famous terrors: The Weeping Angel. They're deadly, nigh invulnerable outside of time erasing attacks, and are lightning fast and inhumanely strong.
So how do you hunt one?
Outside of the numerous questions I have about your sanity, I have one more. Do you eye problems? Because if you do, you might want to track down some other prey, cause these suckers will end you. (Sort of. More on that later.) The Weeping angels are unique in all the universe. They are, in essence, a statue. If you weren't paying attention earlier, here's the recap: Angels don't exist as a living being while they're observed, and are therefore pretty much unkillable, unless you have some very indiscriminate attacks up your sleeves. Even then, these guys seem to take gunshots like they were nothing in Flesh and Stone. So good luck. The only way to truly kill these beasts is to erase them from time, cause a time paradox (not recommended), and maybe starve them.
That's how to kill them. But what about personal survival? We've already covered their ability to "quantum lock," but what else about their biology is unique? How do you put them in a situation where they are starved to death? Do they eat? Well, yes. They feed on potential time energy. When one catches you, their touch will send you back in time. This destroys the timeline where you continued to live as you were, therefore creating a timeline's corpse to feed on. That's right. Rather than eat dead flesh, these guys eat dead futures. This does mean that you, in a way, survive the encounter, and if you can get a hold of a time machine, you can return to your own time. Of course, they sometimes just snap your neck for fun, so don't take any chances.
The easiest way to survive them is to just ensure that they are observed at all times right? Well, not really. Usually, Angels hunt in cities where their kin are numerous and they can easily disguise themselves as regular statues. Or maybe the Statue of Liberty. (Also, it should be noted that Angels can animate normal statues, usually with time energy, to reproduce.) This environment and pack mentality means that they can surround you easily, making your eyes useless. However, their quantum lock is activated by all observation, not just visual observation. If you can use your ears or nose to observe stone, you are one of the lucky ones with an upper hand on these things. For the rest of us, we can still manage. The quantum lock can be activated by instinct as well, meaning if you can convince the Angels that you can observe them, you're good. Just don't trip on anything.
The other way, you might think, to observe them with minimal risk, is to use a camera. But nothing is stupider. Why? For some god-forsaken reason, the image of an Angel is an Angel in-and-of itself, meaning that taking a picture of an Angel makes a new one, as long as the image isn't broken. This also has one side-effect. If you look an Angel in the eyes, it can "infect" your visual centers in your brain, since there is an image of the angel inside your visual memory now. Once fully grown, the Angel will burst out of your The only way to stop this is to shut down your visual centers. So now you have to be blind. Don't look Angels in the eye.
There just so happens to be a very, VERY effective survival trick you can learn from this "image-is-the-real-thing" ability. Angels are vulnerable to mirrors. Why, you ask me? Because that mirror makes an image of the Angel, who then look at each other. This is how the Doctor beats them in their first debut on television(see image above). Angels can be tricked to look at each other, trapping themselves eternally. This is why they are the Lonely Assassins, the Weeping Angels. They cover their eyes, and can never be observed, even by their kin. This is their ultimate weakness.
And that's that. Sorry for such a long one, these guys are hardy. Nothing but the hardiest prey for the hardiest hunters, I suppose. Next one will be shorter, promise. Until then, farewell, good hunting, and remember:
Don't. Blink.
Thanks to the Doctor Who wiki for helping me research this article.
So how do you hunt one?
Outside of the numerous questions I have about your sanity, I have one more. Do you eye problems? Because if you do, you might want to track down some other prey, cause these suckers will end you. (Sort of. More on that later.) The Weeping angels are unique in all the universe. They are, in essence, a statue. If you weren't paying attention earlier, here's the recap: Angels don't exist as a living being while they're observed, and are therefore pretty much unkillable, unless you have some very indiscriminate attacks up your sleeves. Even then, these guys seem to take gunshots like they were nothing in Flesh and Stone. So good luck. The only way to truly kill these beasts is to erase them from time, cause a time paradox (not recommended), and maybe starve them.
That's how to kill them. But what about personal survival? We've already covered their ability to "quantum lock," but what else about their biology is unique? How do you put them in a situation where they are starved to death? Do they eat? Well, yes. They feed on potential time energy. When one catches you, their touch will send you back in time. This destroys the timeline where you continued to live as you were, therefore creating a timeline's corpse to feed on. That's right. Rather than eat dead flesh, these guys eat dead futures. This does mean that you, in a way, survive the encounter, and if you can get a hold of a time machine, you can return to your own time. Of course, they sometimes just snap your neck for fun, so don't take any chances.
The easiest way to survive them is to just ensure that they are observed at all times right? Well, not really. Usually, Angels hunt in cities where their kin are numerous and they can easily disguise themselves as regular statues. Or maybe the Statue of Liberty. (Also, it should be noted that Angels can animate normal statues, usually with time energy, to reproduce.) This environment and pack mentality means that they can surround you easily, making your eyes useless. However, their quantum lock is activated by all observation, not just visual observation. If you can use your ears or nose to observe stone, you are one of the lucky ones with an upper hand on these things. For the rest of us, we can still manage. The quantum lock can be activated by instinct as well, meaning if you can convince the Angels that you can observe them, you're good. Just don't trip on anything.
The other way, you might think, to observe them with minimal risk, is to use a camera. But nothing is stupider. Why? For some god-forsaken reason, the image of an Angel is an Angel in-and-of itself, meaning that taking a picture of an Angel makes a new one, as long as the image isn't broken. This also has one side-effect. If you look an Angel in the eyes, it can "infect" your visual centers in your brain, since there is an image of the angel inside your visual memory now. Once fully grown, the Angel will burst out of your The only way to stop this is to shut down your visual centers. So now you have to be blind. Don't look Angels in the eye.
There just so happens to be a very, VERY effective survival trick you can learn from this "image-is-the-real-thing" ability. Angels are vulnerable to mirrors. Why, you ask me? Because that mirror makes an image of the Angel, who then look at each other. This is how the Doctor beats them in their first debut on television(see image above). Angels can be tricked to look at each other, trapping themselves eternally. This is why they are the Lonely Assassins, the Weeping Angels. They cover their eyes, and can never be observed, even by their kin. This is their ultimate weakness.
And that's that. Sorry for such a long one, these guys are hardy. Nothing but the hardiest prey for the hardiest hunters, I suppose. Next one will be shorter, promise. Until then, farewell, good hunting, and remember:
Don't. Blink.
Thanks to the Doctor Who wiki for helping me research this article.
Thursday, May 10, 2018
Some Updates
BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL INTERNET IDIOT ABOUT TO GRADUATE, PLANS ON GOING TO RIVERSIDE
I'm graduating. Finally. The next chapter of my life is before me, ready to be written, and I need to figure out if I will be writing in this blog for much longer. Now, a sane person would probably say no, but I'm not a sane person, which may imply that I will, but all it really says is that I'm not sure. This blog hasn't been a huge time sink (as you can tell by the writing, haha! Self-depreciation is a problem.), but so's college. Right now, this blog's future is kinda up in the air. However, I do want to continue writing over the summer. And as a result, I'm going to mix it up with a few new series(serieses? seriesi?) until I come to a descision:
- Hunter's Bestiary: This blog is called a hunter's notes, but contains nothing about anything related to hunting. So I've decided to include a new series in which I research mystical creatures and the like, telling you the how, the where, the when, the why, and the if, to killing it.
- Hunter's Tools: Also as an addition; Hunter's tools! Fanciful gadgets from various nerdy fandoms that may or may not be useful in the killing of the supernatural/aliens/old ones.
- Hypetrain: If I'm excited about something, I'ma talk about it. Non. Stop. This is the result of this definitely unhealthy behavior.
There's that. For the few interested, I will be heading to University of California Riverside to get my degree in computer science so I can make video games. Maybe. Not sure.
And that's it! I'm done! Hunter's Bestiary later this week!
And that's it! I'm done! Hunter's Bestiary later this week!
(We're talking about one of Steven Moffat's twisted brainchilds!)
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